25 Days of Christmas - Day 12: Joy in the Chaos

Day 12: Joy in the Chaos

By AJ

I mentioned during my post on Day 4 that I tend to like for things to go my way.  I have a tendency to build things up in my mind, imagining how they will go.  During my first year of marriage, my husband had to explain to me that "life isn't a movie."  Such a simple statement, but it hit me hard. He was right, too!  Too high of expectations and you're bound for a life of disappointment with the fault all your own.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still a dreamer.  I can't help but romanticize holidays, family outings, date nights, etc.  What I have learned however is to leave my expectations at the door.  This has allowed me to have experiences that are more wonderful than I could have ever imagined...or on the flip side, it has given me strength to breath and smile through toddler melt downs, cancelled anniversary dinners, and other accidents I didn't see coming.  

Most parents would agree that children have a wonderful way of slapping you in the face with reality.  However you thought something would go is NEVER how it actually goes.  Sometimes it is better and sometimes your sweet angel will hit you in the face in front of a room of judging mothers while screaming and kicking as you try to gracefully exit with your dignity.  Again, life isn't a movie, but, my friends, that still doesn't keep me from trying to create Hallmark worthy memories with my friends, family, husband, and children.  Christmas time is full of these attempts.    

This year, my girls wanted to decorate a gingerbread house.  The former me would have dreamed of us baking the pieces of the house from scratch and dancing around the kitchen to Christmas music as we effortlessly added icing and candy bits to create an award winning gingerbread house Pinterest Moms everywhere would envy.  That was the old me.  The new me, the one hardened by reality and children, bought the preassembled house at Walmart that came with icing and candy pieces all in one box.  Sold!  From experience, I knew to come to this party prepared.  In addition to lowering expectations, preparation for the worst possible scenario is key.  So, I made sure both children had multiple icing color choices in easy to squeeze containers (never allow children to use the icing bag it comes with - you will end up crying in the bathroom and telling your husband to just let them eat the damn thing).  I also decided to put the candy in different dishes to be easily accessible by both girls, and I place one child on either side of me in order to play offense and defense.  

Now, obviously I sometimes warn confess cry for help joke about the craziness that is our family, but let me tell you- sometimes when you least expect it, you find joy in the chaos.  Decorating the gingerbread house with my girls this night was not perfect, and neither was our little house.  I didn't try to put the icing on with expectations that they would decorate perfectly.  No, I just slapped it on there and let them stick their candy to it.  They didn't care what it looked like, and it may look like Christmas threw up all over it.  But!  My babies giggled, sang Christmas carols, and got to spend quality time with their mommy.  Most importantly, they reminded me that sometimes, if you just let life happen (and maybe come a little prepared) really sweet and memorable moments are created while you're busy living them.